Wednesday, January 03, 2007

At the end of the day . . . (Ken´s Entry)

I lay awake at night replaying the day. I think of the social situations--the mercado, the taxi, the portero-- and I think of how dreadfully inadequate I was.
I replay the dialogue. I remember what I said, what I said wrong, what I failed to say, what I could have said better.

And I usually consider myself a dismal failure.

Then, in the twilight of the night between waking, and sleeping, and dreaming, I remember my successes.

I actually did tell the taxi driver where I wanted to go.
I actually did tell the portero that the toilet was running and would not stop.

I actually did ask the sales woman if these shoes came in my size.
I have been here for five days. Right now, I am exhausted. I know I have increased my activity level 200% and decreased my calorie intake by half. Everyday is an adventure, a success, and a defeat. Actually, that is exactly why I came here.
I will be 50 in 25 days. I needed to do something special, something important, something REALLY HARD.
When I turned 40, my goal was to run a marathon. I did it; I have run 17 since. The 50th had to be bigger. (I can´t imagine what challenge I will make for myself at 60).
So here I am, absolutely stretching myself to the limits of abilities. (Really, very much like a marathon--only a brain marathon).

The picture? That´s the pizza we had on New Year´s day. Everything was closed, and that´s about all I could get us to eat. Then there is the bird across the street who sits on the window ledge and sings all day. Just thought you´d be interested


Chas said...

Looks like you've figured out why the caged bird sings.

PS: What kind of person takes a bite out of the crust before the regular pizza part is done?

Caroline G said...

The reliving the linguistic faux pas at the end of the day seems so familiar to me. That’s me in Greece whenever I go. (I’m never there long enough to really get great at the language) (“SKEto” means “without sugar,” whear as “skaTA” means “shit”. . . I still laugh about hollering that misspoken detail of my coffee order across a cafe.) but the mistakes is how you learn. Just laugh at it, practice the right way, and you’ll be ready next time. Five days is nothing.

Chas said...

(It's really nobody's business what Caroline puts in her coffee.)

poet lariat said...

re: the challenge for yourself at 60
Dylan's new Modern Times record entered the US album charts at #1, making Dylan the oldest living person to top the charts at the age of 65.
2 lyrics from the record
-you think I'm over the hill
-you think I'm past my prime
obviously not!
So, as for your big 60, think big!